New Beginning-Michael's Story
by JennTH
Summary: Continuation from Michael's Story from my story New Beginning. Michael is growing up with more insecurity than his friends can even understand. Takes place a year after the war and continues until he is a grown up. OC, so you might not like.


A/N: Michael's Story from my story, New Beginning. It does from his Second Year until he is grown. It's an OC so you likely won't like. I am posting it here due to some requests that don't want to read them on my blog.

Anyway, I wrote New Beginning years ago, but then I moved it to a blog. I started this story just for fun while I worked on better projects. However, as much as it was just for fun, I grew to enjoy writing about these characters. So whenever I have writers block on my real stories, or even when I am feeling stressed, I write about these characters lives. Many people might not enjoy this since it's OC and all but this story as bad as it might be actually got me through stressful times. Whenever I was feeling upset, I would think about some happy things happening to them or even bad things. I would sit down, and write about them. I logged back onto this site recently and saw some recent requests for this story. So I've decided to resurrect it here since some people don't want to read it on my blog.

Summer

The moment I entered my house, the horrible stench hit my nose. I glanced around the living room in disbelief. It hadn't really been that long since I was at home last, and yet they had managed to make an even bigger mess. As usual, my parents were just lying around and doing nothing. I let out a sigh and shut the door behind me. Not bothering to greet them, I found a path in the living room and dragged my trunk behind me.

Not too long ago my friends had been discussing their summers excitedly, but I hadn't said much. Most of my summer I planned to work if I could find jobs. I had enough experience cleaning, so perhaps I could even be a male maid. I smirked to myself as I sat down on my bed. It was relief to know that none of their junk entered my room, but I couldn't handle the stench.

As I stared around my room, mum entered it with a smile. She had dark shadows under her eyes, and I thought she seemed to have gained even more weight. I couldn't understand how my parents were overweight when I was so thin. People at Hogwarts would be surprised to see how big they were compared to me, although I was catching up with mum when it came to our heights.

"How was your term? Did you pass?" She asked.

"It was fine," I answered. "My birthday was in June.

I was still really upset that they hadn't acknowledged my birthday. My friends had taken the time to throw a party for me, and to give me gifts but my parents couldn't even write to me.

"You know we don't have money dear," mum answered. "I thought you understood that."

"I don't care about a gift," I muttered. "You didn't even write to me."

Mum sighed and sat down beside me.

"Michael, the reason we sent you to that place is so that you can have a better life. I don't want you to end up like we have. That teacher told us that you could have a career. Your friends look rich. So I just want you to work hard and get through school," she told me.

"I plan to," I said to her. "My marks are decent enough. Dad already had a bit of talk with me. I don't care that you didn't send me a gift. It's not about the money."

"I know," she said. "Chances are we aren't going to write to you when you're at that school. We didn't forget your birthday. I was going to wish you a Happy Birthday but you ignored us when you came in. I know you're upset that the house is a mess, but Michael honey, nothing is going to change. I'm sorry."

"There is no reason you can't change," I said. "It's not that hard to clean the house. I don't want to pick up after you and dad every day."

"Then don't," she stated.

I stared at my mother. What had happened to her? At least over the holidays she had seemed remorseful but something was different. Was it the alcohol? Although I was curious about trying alcohol, I was never going to let it affect me the way it did them. I'd seen at our Hufflepuff parties that people could drink and have fun. With my parents, it seemed to take over their lives. I knew that they started drinking it the moment they woke up until they went to bed. I also knew they did drugs.

"I don't understand how you can live in this pigsty," I told her. "You should clean the house."

Mum glared at me for a moment and then smacked me hard across the face. My parents had never really hit me much. When I was little, they would occasionally give me small slaps if I did something wrong, but this was the first time I had ever really been hurt. I stared back at her in shock that she would do it. I would almost expect my father to do it, but not my mother.

"Watch your mouth," she told me and then she got up and walked out the door.

"Welcome to summer," I said and shook my head.

I opened my trunk to pull out some parchment and quills. I wanted to write to Ellen and Jared. I didn't think Ben could ever really understand, and I really didn't want to write Ashley. She would probably just turn it all around on herself, and then complain about her problems. Jaime had been at the platform, so whatever problems they had with each other was likely solved by now. I felt some resentment for her, she didn't have real problems like Ellen and I had, and yet we didn't complain as much as she did.

I wrote to Jared first, and told him everything, even mum slapping me. I felt myself venting not only about my house, but about Ashley as well as my crush on Ellen. Jared was the only one I really could talk to about it. Ben had told me enough times that I needed to get over her. There was a chance Ashley would understand because of her big crush on Denver, but I didn't really have much to say to her at the moment.

As soon as I was done writing to Jared, I wrote to Ellen. I'd noticed that only her mother was at the station that day and she'd looked upset. So I wondered what was going on with that. I didn't feel nearly as resentful as I had with Jared's letter, so it was a lot easier to write it without insulting Ashley or even Ben. I knew Ellen wouldn't appreciate me insulting her best friend anyway. I felt even more guilty about insulting her with them anyway, with Jared, he was more than happy to insult her. He hated her.

Once I was finished with my letters to them, I pulled my owl call from my trunk and went over to my window. It was actually hot and stuffy in my room, but I hadn't thought to open it until that moment. It took me a few minutes to open it. I sighed as I struggled to push it open. Finally it slid upwards and I blew through my owl call. I couldn't get the window up high enough, but the owl stood patiently on the ledge. I tied Jared's letter to its leg.

"This if for Jared Munce. Any of your friends around?" I asked it softly. "I have another letter."

The owl let out a hoot and then took off. I wasn't sure for a moment if it had understood or if they could communicate with each other, but before I had to use my call again, another owl showed up. I tied the letter to the owls leg and let it know it was for Ellen before it took off. Afterwards, I turned to look around my room.

"Might as put things away," I muttered to myself.

I could still feel the stinging slap my mother had given me, and tears went to my eyes. Why would she hit me like that? I hated coming home, and I decided right then and there that I was not going to return for the Christmas or Easter holidays. For the remaining six years that I went to Hogwarts, I would stay at the school for the holidays. Harry Potter had done that after all, and from what I'd heard, he'd been happy with that.

Thinking about this, I left my room to clean up the rest of the house. Even though I had told my mother that I didn't plan to clean up after them, I was going to do it anyway. I could not live there for two months in that kind of mess. When I entered the living room, I saw that my mother was sprawled back out in her chair. Dad was the couch. We didn't have cable, but that didn't seem to matter to them. They just stared at the scrambling television. I thought it looked like some kind of children's program.

It was still light out when we got home, but by the time I was done cleaning the house, it was dark out. My parents were just getting ready for bed by the time I finished cleaning up the kitchen. They didn't pay any attention to me. It was as if I wasn't even home, and I felt some overwhelming loneliness at that moment. It was the first time I'd felt that way since I'd started at Hogwarts.

Even before I'd started I hadn't really felt that way. Although I hadn't been popular, I hadn't been a nobody like Ashley had been. There were people I'd talked to, and a few mates I'd been able to hang out with from time to time. Even if I didn't have people to hang out with, I'd been used to being alone a lot, and my parents had been as they were now. However, after being at Hogwarts the last ten months, and being around people basically twenty-four seven, it was hard not to feel lonely.

I blinked back more tears, and then headed back to my bedroom. When I entered my room, there was a cool breeze entering the window, but there was also an owl on the ledge. I hoped it was Ellen getting back to me. I expected a letter full of sympathy from her. Perhaps she would even invite me over for a few days on my own. The two of us could hang out together, and maybe get really close. I'd felt as if we had gotten close during the Easter holidays after all.

However, as I took the letter from the owl I saw that it was Ben's hand-writing. I was surprised that he was writing to me already, but perhaps he wanted us to come over soon. His parents loved having us over after all. Ben wanted us to spend a week there, so maybe he was telling me that we could go there soon. Maybe he would even let us spend the entire summer… I smiled to myself. I knew that was dreaming big, but I couldn't help it.

I ripped open the envelope and pulled out his letter.

Michael

Just wanted to know how it's going at home. You were very quiet on the way home. I hope you have a good summer. Let me know if you need anything, or if you even want to come here early. My parents won't mind at all. We haven't figured out when everyone is coming over yet, but I'll let you know as soon as possible. Just don't let them get you down. I know you get depressed about being there, but don't dwell on it. Anyway, I know it's a short letter but I just wanted to check up on you. Please write to me or even the rest of us if you need anything. You know we'll help out.

Ben

It was a short letter, but it did make me smile. I was happy to know that I had someone there for me. I rolled up Ben's letter, and then sat down at my tiny desk to write back to him. I reassured for now that I was fine and I would see him soon. I couldn't bring myself to tell him everything quite yet. So I just gave him the gist of everything.

Once I finished his letter, I saw that his owl whose name I didn't know was still waiting. So I quickly attached the letter to its leg. Once it flew off, I changed into my pajamas, turned off the lights and then flopped into my bed. I was a lot more tired than I realized because it didn't take long for me to doze off.

Overnight it had rained, and I could smell it through the breeze that came through the window. I stretched out and glanced at my watch to see seven in the morning. I glanced at my watch to see just how early it was and saw that it was seven in the morning. It was a bit of surprise considering I usually slept in at school. I sat up and jumped a bit startled when I saw that there was an owl at my window.

"Ellen!" I said excitedly.

I hurried over to the window to grab the envelope from it. I felt a little disappointed when I realized that it wasn't Ellen's owl, but Jared's. Of course I was happy to hear from my other friend, but I wanted a letter from Ellen.

"You can go on," I told the owl, I wasn't in the mood to write back to him quite yet. The day looked a little gloomy, just like my mood.

I ripped open the envelope and pulled out his letter. It was full of the sympathy that I wanted from Ellen. He offered the extra room in his place for me to stay for a while. However, as much as I liked Jared, I didn't want to stay at his place. I wasn't sure why. I smiled as I saw all the insults about Ashley. If I wanted anyone to insult her, I could always count on him. I laughed at the picture he drew at the bottom of an ugly witch with a unibrow.

Cheered up, I set his letter on my desk intending to write back to him, and I left my room after I dressed. My parents were awake yet. I knew we didn't have much food, but I'd seen some money on the counter the night before. There was a twenty-four seven grocery store not too far from our place. I didn't care if my parents had intended the money for something else; I was buying us some food. If they yelled at me, or hit me again then I would deal with it. I was planning on spending as much time away from home as I could anyway, even if I just hung out around town. I did have high hopes for finding a job however.

It was still wet out from the rain the night before, and it looked as if the sun was coming out. I thought about Ben's letter from the night before and I decided he was right. I shouldn't let my home life affect my summer. As much as I loved Hogwarts, it was nice to have a break. So I whistled to myself as I headed to the grocery store.

Once I was inside, I automatically noticed that there was notice board. I walked over to it to see if there were job postings, and I saw that there were many for the summer. They all had phone numbers that you could rip off. A lot of them were for older kids, but I figured I could try them anyway. Even though we were poor, we did actually have a working lawn mower. I could always go around and mow peoples lawns. A lot of people were looking for people to do odd jobs, and I wondered if our phone was working. I could always put up an ad for myself so that I could get some jobs. I was more than willing to do some cleaning, and a lot of people actually wanted someone. I just hoped they would want to hire a twelve year old boy.

After I got the numbers, I grabbed a basket and made my way around the store to grab some food. I really couldn't cook, so I had to grab food that was easy to make. It was mainly unhealthy foods I had to grab, but I didn't have much choice. I only had sixty dollars with me anyway, and that wouldn't go far, so I had to go for the cheapest foods. I grabbed a lot of bread.

My parents were awake when I got home. I tensed up as I expected them to get upset for spending what was likely their booze or drug money. However, mum seemed to be a better mood than the day before.

"You found the money," she said excitedly. "What did you buy?"

"I couldn't get much, but it should last us a few days," I told her and I made my way to the kitchen to take everything out. She followed me and helped me put it away. I made us both peanut butter sandwiches. I wasn't sure what dad was doing, but I wasn't going to make him food.

"We should have more money soon enough," she told me as she took a bite out of her sandwich. "More than likely we'll have some in a few days."

I nodded wondering just where this money would come from. I was sure they were on welfare, but that money only went so far. I didn't think I wanted to know where it was coming from because I had a feeling it was illegal.

"So is the phone working?" I asked instead. "I want to find a summer job so I can make money for school."

"We just paid the bill the other day," she told me. "I wanted to make sure you could use the phone for your friends. I know you use owls but I'm sure some of your friends have phones as well. That teacher said you aren't the only muggleborn, and you said you were friends with one."

Ellen and Ashley did have phones, although I doubted that I would call Ashley. I was surprised my mother remembered what I was. She didn't seem to remember anything else about my magical life, but she knew what I was called in that world.

"Thanks," I said.

She touched the cheek she had slapped the night before, and then left the room. I wondered if that was her way of apologizing to me. I sat down at the table to finish my sandwich, and then I figured I could work on finding some jobs.

That summer, I did manage to find some jobs. Even though I was young, people were more than happy to let me do their chores. I figured for sure they would want a sixteen year old. I didn't think too many people would take me seriously, however they didn't question it. During the first two weeks I just mowed lawns, but even some older ladies hired me to clean their houses for them. I was earning money really quickly. I didn't tell my parents just how much I was making. I knew they would just use the money I gave them for alcohol.

A few boys I knew from school hung out with me a couple of times as well. They were already smoking, so I didn't like going out with them too much, however they were better than nothing. I was just glad to have people other than my parents to talk to. They tried to get me to smoke, but I wouldn't do it. They did talk about sneaking some of their parent's alcohol, and I was up for that.

"You should get some from your parents too," Pete told me.

He was a short and sturdy boy. He was only thirteen, but he was already into weight lifting. He was already developing some muscles. I felt envious of him considering I was tall and stringy looking. I was even taller than Jared, who would be fourteen soon. The other two boys, John and Trevor were about medium height for twelve year olds. I towered over everyone.

"Likely could," I responded. "I doubt they would notice."

The boys knew that my parents drank a lot, but I believed a lot of people knew they were alcoholics. Most people thought I went to some boarding school funded by welfare. I knew a few others thought that I had broken the law and I had been sent away. I just went with the first story. There was no point in denying that we were on welfare, and no one questioned it when I said it was a secret. I doubted they really cared.

So one evening when I knew that they had gone to bed, I went raiding through their stash. I was surprised at the amount that they had. I didn't think alcohol came cheap. They had many bottles of vodka, so I decided to steal one of those rather than the other stuff. They had stronger stuff, but not as many as the vodka. I actually would have liked to have tried whiskey, but I didn't know if I could take some without them noticing.

The four of us spent the first Friday night of that summer together at John's place and drank through the entire bottle. I woke up the next morning with my very first hang over, but I didn't mind. I knew that as long as I drank only on weekends I wouldn't end up like my parents. It just felt good to be doing something normal kids my age did.

When I wasn't hanging out with the boys, I was writing to my Hogwarts friends. I was getting frustrated because Ellen would not write back to me, and then Ben stopped writing back as well. The only person I really kept in contact with was Jared. Ashley and I wrote a couple of times through muggle mail, but I wasn't really interested in what was going on in her life. Mainly I wrote to ask her if she'd heard from Ellen, but she always told me she didn't. I figured for sure she was lying to me. Jared was sure as well.

Think about it Michael, you and her haven't been getting along lately. She likely knows how you feel about Ellen. So she is keeping something from you. I keep telling you that you shouldn't trust that ugly bitch. I honestly can't stand that girl, and I don't get why you still hang out with her. I know you're loyal to Ben and Ellen, but you don't like Ashley. Cut her off already.

Part of me agreed with Jared, but another part of me couldn't just let her go like that. She was whiny, passive aggressive, and annoying at times but she was also very loyal to me. I also knew that if I stopped talking to her, Ben and Ellen would stop talking to me. So even if I didn't like her too much at the moment, I had to put up with her if I wanted to be friends with them.

It wasn't until about two weeks into the summer that Ellen finally got back to me after a dozen letters. The letter was very short and brief however. All she told me was that her parents were getting divorced and that she was moving into a smaller flat.

I promise I'll write later. I'm sure we can meet up later. If I don't write back soon it's because I'm really busy with everything going on at home.

Ellen

I was disappointed as I read through her letter. Most of my letters I had hinted at her about my feelings, but she didn't say anything about it. I did feel terrible about the divorce even though I wasn't surprised. I was just happy to know that she wasn't slighting me. I decided that she hadn't written back about her feelings for me because of what was going on in her life. Of course she was thinking about me when her parents were divorcing. So I wrote a letter back telling her how sorry I was, and then I hinted again about how I felt. I made sure to let her know that I was there for her.

After I wrote to her, I quickly wrote to Jared about what was going on. I hoped he could have some advice for me in his next letter. After I wrote to them, I spent the day cleaning up after my parents but I felt so happy that I heard from Ellen that I didn't care. Afterwards, I hurried off to meet the guys who had promised that they'd managed to sneak some tequila.

I was surprised about the amount of money I was making that summer. I hadn't expected to make as much as I was. The money I was making would be enough for all my school supplies, and anything else I needed. I was even able to buy Ellen a really nice present. Ashley and Ben's birthdays were coming up as well, but I would worry about it closer to the dates. I wasn't even sure if I was going to buy Ashley anything anyways. With Ben, anything Quidditch related would work. I knew Ashley liked to accessorize with Hufflepuff things, so that would be easy enough.

Ellen wrote me again to let me know that we could all get together for the last two weeks of August. Once again her letter was short and formal. It didn't matter how many letters I sent her, she seemed to ignore my feelings. Jared was sure that once the two of us got together, she wouldn't be able to ignore it then. He told me I needed to be aggressive with her or other girls I liked.

It's always worked for me. It's not hard for me to get a girl. You and Ellen are good friends. Just make a move when you two hang out. Maybe you should stop writing her for a while until you see her. You said she's distracted because of the divorce. If she's not writing Ben and Ashley than likely she isn't ignoring you. You should hurry though, Hank really likes her. He is planning on doing something when we get back to Hogwarts.

Ben and Ashley got back to me shortly afterwards to let me know that we would all get together at the end of August. Ben told me that we were going to his place first for a week, and then we were going to Ashley's afterwards. I felt a bit of guilt as I read through Ashley's letter. Here she was inviting me to her home, and I was talking behind her back not only to Jared but to Ben and my old school mates. I told myself that I would try to be nicer to her when we all got together. She would never have to know that I had insulted her… but then again, chances were that Ben had already told her. He always did.

I went into the living room to let my parents know that I would be gone for the last two weeks of August.

"Won't you see your friends enough at school?" Dad asked me when I told him. "We need you here."

"For what?" I asked feeling annoyed. "All you do is watch nothing on the telly and drink. I need to go get my school supplies, and we promised each other that we would help each other with our homework. I need to be ready for second year."

Most of what I said could be true. I'd done some of my school work, but I still had a lot left over. I was sure I could work on it over at Ben's or Ashley's. I had a feeling that Ben had all of his done, but likely Ashley and Ellen would need his help. He never minded helping us out, so I'd left some of the complicated work for then. The only class I had really taken seriously was Defense Against the Dark Arts. I just wished I could work on my spell work, but that was of course illegal since I wasn't of age.

Dad stared at me a moment and then said: "Well leave some of the money you made behind."

"For what exactly?" I asked. "If you need groceries I can shop before I leave."

"We know how to shop on our own," mum told me. "You can leave us some money. We know you made enough this summer, and you will be making more until you leave."

"Fine," I said, "I'll leave you sixty. I need the rest for school. I really didn't make too much more than that."

I actually had about five hundred pounds saved already, and I still had some time to make more money. It was the most money I had ever seen in my life. There was no way I would ever let my parents know that however. Mrs. Hoofer had sent me a small keep-saking box for my birthday. The only person who could access it was me. I kept all of my money in there in case my parents snooped. I had a feeling that they did. I'd noticed that some of my things in my trunk had been moved around. I knew that someone had read my last letter from Ashley before it had gotten to me. So they knew that my friends wanted me to go to their places. Thankfully her letters were always brief, so they didn't have too much more information than I had given them.

"It's fine," mum finally said. "It would have been nice to see you more this summer. I guess I'm glad that you have people taking care of you."

"Ben did say that his parents would be in contact with you. They're the ones who take me to school remember," I added.

"They don't need to write us," dad said. "We have no use for those owls. Just let us know when you leave, and remember to leave us some money."

"Fine," I said. "I'll get back to Ben and Ashley. Thanks for reading the letter from Ashley by the way," I added as I left the room.

"No problem," dad called after me.

I gritted my teeth. I headed into my room to write back quickly to both Ben and Ashley. At the moment, I would spend every day at Ashley's alone just so I could get away from them. I would listen to her incessant complaining about Jaime if I had to. Anything would be better.

Ben parents picked me up early on the fifteenth of August. It was a Sunday morning and it was a nice day out. Ben had mentioned that we could swim in his pool. I was excited to see Ellen, and I couldn't help but wonder what she would look like in bathing-suit. I wondered if she would wear a bikini. Some of the girls my age at the town pool wore bikinis. I just hoped Ashley wouldn't. I hoped she would be one of those shy girls who covered up. There had been some like that as well.

Ben's parents spent the ride asking me questions about my summer. I had a feeling given their questions that Ben had mentioned some things to them. I omitted a lot of stuff, because I didn't want their pity. I hated it when my friends, except maybe Ellen gave me their pity, I didn't want it from Ben's parents. I could see the disapproval in Mr. Hoofers eyes as he looked at me through the rear view mirror.

It was a relief when we arrived at his place.

"Ben is upstairs my dear," Mrs. Hoofer told me when we entered the house. She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks," I said.

As I did the last few times I'd been at Ben's place, I felt jealous about the size of his house. He always insisted he wasn't rich, but they had money. My entire house could fit in his living-room. He had a closet bigger than my bedroom. I walked up the steps pulling my trunk behind me. I found Ben sitting in his room at his desk, judging from the Potions textbook on his desk, I was assuming he was working on Potions.

"Of course you're doing homework," I said. "I still have some left."

"I've just finished. How can you still have some left? How can you get it done between now and then? You'll be hanging out with us," he said to me with some annoyance.

"How is that different from any other time?" I asked. "Besides, I was hoping you'd help me. I'm sure you'll be helping Ashley and Ellen as well."

"Ashley said she's done," he told me, "but I did tell her I'd look it over. So I'm sure she'll have some work to do. I don't know about Ellen. I didn't really talk to her much this summer."

Ben was angry with Ellen. She had written a really nasty letter to him at the beginning of summer apparently. She'd blamed him for the fact that she'd believed that doing her school work would make her parents get along better. I didn't understand why he was still so upset for that. People said or did stupid things when they were emotional. I knew she didn't mean anything. Ben was a hypocrite when it came to that. How many times had he been rude to Ashley the year before? Now he acted as if both Ellen and I were terrible people for doing the same thing. In my mind, Ashley did deserve the way I treated her though.

"I don't see why you're still angry with her," I said. "You know she is going through a lot right now. I feel bad for her. I hope you'll go easy on her."

I knew Ben could be a jerk as well when he was upset. The last thing Ellen needed was for him to tell her off. He'd told me that he hadn't in his letters. I remember him saying that Ashley had told him to hold back. I just hoped he wasn't holding back until they were face to face.

"I don't want to talk about it," Ben said with annoyance. "It will just put me in a bad mood, and I will say something to her. So if you want me to take it easy on her, you'll drop the subject and you won't bring it up when they get here."

Ellen's mother was bringing the girls, and I didn't understand why she would bring Ashley. She actually took Ashley to and from school as well. They lived in London now, and it was actually out of Ellen's mothers way to go to Ashley's town, and then take her to Ben's. It was even more out of her way to drive her to and from school. If Ellen wanted to, she could actually walk to Kings Cross Station. I figured Ashley could use Rachel or even Pat to take her in. Perhaps her mother could even get a license. Ashley had also made money that summer. Why didn't she just call a cab instead of burdening Ellen's mother?

"I don't get why Ellen's mother is picking up Ashley, it's actually out of the way," I said. "She should find her own way here."

Ben raised his eyebrows at me.

"Kind of like it's out of my parent's way to get you?" He asked me. "She's twelve, how is she supposed to find her own way?"

Now I was hurt. He didn't actually want to help me out?

"Your parents said my place was on the way," I said now just as annoyed as him. "They don't have a problem with getting me. Why do you have a problem with them getting me?"

"I don't have a problem with it, I'm glad they picked you up. You know it's only on the way from Kings Cross. Today they went out of the way to get you. If Ellen's mother doesn't have a problem getting Ashley, then it shouldn't matter. You tell me I should take it easy on Ellen, but maybe you should be taking it easy on Ashley. I don't get why you've been so rude about her lately," Ben said.

"Don't worry, I am not going to be rude to your precious girlfriend," I said. "But perhaps stop and think that maybe I have a reason to be angry with Ashley just like you have a reason to be angry with Ellen."

Although that wasn't entirely true. I was annoyed with Ashley but I wasn't exactly angry with her. I was just sick of her and her problems. According to Jared, I should be upset with her though. He still believed that she was out to get me somehow. He used the Harry Potter incident as an example. She knew how I felt about meeting him, and she had rubbed it in my face. She had not told him about me. More and more of Jared's letters seemed convincing to me.

"And what could that reason be?" Ben asked me.

"I am not sure yet, I am trying to figure it out," I admitted. "I've been talking to Jared a lot about it. He was the one who pointed some things out to me. He might be completely wrong, but I have to find out myself."

"You realize he might be trying to turn you against her because he hates her?" Ben asked.

I sighed feeling annoyed. I really didn't want to talk about this with him. Ben just wouldn't understand, but then again it seemed to be that the two of them worshipped each other anyway. Things had changed so much between them, and even though Ben liked Melanie I also wondered if he liked Ashley as well. It would be crazy if he did since she was so ugly, but now that I had feelings for Ellen I noticed things, and I thought it looked like more than friendship at times. I'd noticed he hadn't corrected me when I called her his girlfriend.

"Look, this conversation is over," I finally said. "Just leave it. I won't be rude to her, but that's all I am going to say. So drop it."

"Fine, let's just go down in the pool. Barry and Brianne are in the pool right now. I was just waiting for you to come. Brenda said she would greet the girls when they come. She has things to do before she joins us," Ben said.

"I'll just change into my bathing suit then," I told him. "I bought a new one over the summer. My parents don't know just how much money I made this summer. I'll be right back."

Ben nodded. "I already have mine on under my clothes. I figured we could go swimming as soon as everyone gets here. I have something to tell you anyway."

"About what?" I asked.

"Just change and I will tell you," he said.

I quickly changed wondering what it was that he could possibly be telling me. Was it something about the girls? Had Ellen actually found a boyfriend? He hadn't really talked to Ellen, but he had kept in touch with Ashley quite a bit. I knew Ellen would have told Ashley if she'd met someone. Jared would have told me if it was Hank, so it had to be someone else. Maybe she was dating a muggle boy. I hoped it was that. There was no way a long distance relationship could last.

"So what's going on?" I asked Ben as soon as I left his bathroom, my mind still on Ellen.

"The Tri-Wizard Tournament is coming back to Hogwarts," he told me excitedly. "My parents told me about it."

"Really?" I asked excitedly. "I could enter! Just think how impressed Ellen will be! I'll be breaking the rules and I'll be the youngest champion ever."

Ben smirked at me. I knew he thought it was funny that I was feeling this way. Some friend. I thought to myself. Jared was more than happy to talk to me about Ellen. He wouldn't laugh at me about wanting to be a champion. Perhaps Ben thought I didn't have a chance with her.

"They're taking different measures to prevent that this year," Ben said.

"I'll find a way," I insisted.

Ben shook his head; he still had the smirk on his face. For the first time since we had become friends, I wanted to hit him. I pushed back those feelings however, and kept my mouth shut. I felt as if there was a fight coming between him, Ashley and me. If it did happen, whose side would Ellen take? Likely she would take Ashley's side, but she had to take my side over Ben's.

We walked out onto the patio, and instantly Barry started to make fun of Ben. He and Brianne were already in the pool with drinks. What bothered me was that he called the girls, Ben's girlfriends and he mentioned Ellen in a bikini, and that Ben would like it. As angry as he was with Ellen and as much as he insisted that he didn't see her that way, I couldn't help but wonder how he would react if she wore a bikini. He was after all a normal twelve year old boy. I knew he noticed girls even if he didn't admit it as much. I hadn't forgotten the way he'd reacted around Jaime. I shot a glare at Ben.

I ignored most of the conversation between Barry and Brianne until Barry said:

"I'm not going to comment on twelve year old girls," Barry said. "I'm just teasing Ben here. You know you're going to date one of them."

I felt even angrier by that point.

"No he won't. Ellen won't ever want to date him, he doesn't have a chance with a girl like that and Ben will date never Ashley. No boy will ever date her, she's too ugly, I hope she's not wearing a bikini, no one wants to see that." I said and I went into the pool not caring anymore. The fact was, I knew that Ben actually had a better chance with Ellen, but I wouldn't admit to it. I just hoped that he was a good enough friend to stay away from her.

Ben glared back at me as he followed me into the pool.

"I told you to stop," he said angrily to me.

He wasn't the only one upset with me, Brianne and Barry glared at me as well.

"That's not very nice. You shouldn't make fun of her," Brianne said angrily.

"Whatever," I said in response to her. I liked Brianne well enough, so I didn't want to fight with her.

"And Ben could very well have a chance with Ellen later," Barry said no longer joking. "He's going to have a lot of girls interested. I'm willing to bet both Ashley and Ellen are going to want him at some point."

"Ashley will," I said feeling horrible that Barry was telling me off. I always liked him and even looked up to him. He was what I would want for a big brother. "She will always fall for the ones she can never have. Right now she's interested with this boy named Denver, but we all know he won't go for her. She'll probably want Ben and me eventually, but I know for sure I'll never want her. Ben will never want her either."

"You're very rude about people who are supposed to be your friends," Barry said. "It's fine if you don't see her that way, but there is no need to be like that. I don't really appreciate you insulting my brother either."

"And I can speak for myself about who I am or I'm not attracted to," Ben replied with a glare at me. He folded his arms defiantly. It made me wonder if perhaps he did like her, even though it was hard to believe. How could he change so much after a few months? Sure he didn't want to insult her anymore, but how could he want her? I could never change my feelings for someone that way, even if I liked them as a friend.

"You've said yourself that you'd never date Ashley. You've gotten angry when people have brought it up," I finally said. "I don't see why you suddenly being so defensive about it. Don't tell me you've gone and fallen for her."

"I have not fallen for her, but everyone has different tastes. Just like you want Ellen, and I don't see her that way," Ben responded. "All I want is for you to stop insulting her that way. Who knows, maybe I will change my mind about Ashley or Ellen. For now? No, I don't feel I will ever date either one of them but Barry said the same as Tasha. Now look at them. Besides, I am very sure that Denver is just as interested in Ashley as she is in him."

"No wonder that girl has no confidence if that's the way you treat her," Brianne said annoyed. "You might not want to hear this, and you may not believe it but at your age is one of the most insecure times for a girl. Stop making her feel bad about herself. If you keep it up, she might not ever have any confidence. She's at a vulnerable age, and so is Ellen for that matter. Anything you say to them now can affect them for years. It's the same with you two. It's only been three years since I was twelve and I remember it was a hard age. Stop insulting her."

I sucked in annoyed but I didn't say anything. There was no point anymore. All three of them were already against me. I didn't get why they all felt the need to defend her, and I felt myself even more annoyed with Ashley. Why did she have so many champions when she really didn't deserve it? She had done absolutely nothing to earn Barry or Brianne's respect. I also hated the fact that it still felt as if Ben, Ellen and Ashley were closer and I was just an outsider. I couldn't help but feel that this was Ashley's fault. If she wasn't around, I'd be the one closer to Ben and Ellen. How did a shy girl make friends anyway?

Brenda walked out on the patio and informed us that the girls had arrived. My annoyance went away as I thought about the fact that I would see Ellen soon. I stared at the patio, and Ben swam over to me.

"Be nice," he told me, "Seriously, this is supposed to be a fun visit."

I ignored him and swam closer to the side of the pool so I would see Ellen. I kept thinking about how Jared had told me to be aggressive with her. He was a ladies man. He had so many girls interested in him, even the older ones. Sure he was the oldest in our year, so it wasn't a surprise that he could get third or fourth years, but still. He probably had better advice than anyone else I could ask. I wasn't going to listen to Ben who thought I should just back off from her.

The girls took forever to come down and I could hear the others murmuring to each other. I thought I heard my name, but I ignored them. If they had nothing better to do than talk about me than I must have been doing something right. When they finally did come out, Ashley came out first and although she wasn't the one I wanted to see, I had to admit that she didn't look bad. Bright colours had always looked better on her, and she was wearing a yellow one piece and she was carrying a yellow towel. It was obvious that she had spent a lot of time outside because she was nice and tan. Normally she was pale. So even though I would never admit it to anyone, I thought she did look good.

However, I forgot about Ashley as Ellen followed out after her. She was wearing a red bikini. I couldn't believe how good she looked. None of the girls I'd seen at the town pool looked as amazing as Ellen did. I could hear Ben and Ashley talking to each other, but I ignored them as I stared at Ellen. The others began talking as well, but I didn't say a word. When Ellen climbed into the pool I swam over to greet her. I was sure the others were laughing at me, but I didn't care. I had to take my chances.

There were times when Ellen snapped at me, or even seemed uncomfortable around me. I could sense it when I placed an arm around her, but she didn't tell me to go away. Jared told me that if a girl didn't tell a guy to back off then it was a good sign. So I figured it was because we were around so many people. So I spent as much time around her as I can.

When we got out of the pool later, I tried to help her out but all she did was smile at me and then she grabbed her towel. I could see Ashley and Ben whispering about me, and I figured that had to have been the reason for Ellen's discomfort. She didn't like the audience, why else would she smile at me that way? So I sent a glare in their direction as I wrapped a towel around myself.

Ellen however headed straight over to where Barry and Brianne were sitting at the patio table, and she sat down between them. I didn't understand why she did that. Even if she was feeling uncomfortable about everyone there, she could still sit beside me. They would get used to after all. Ben and Ashley sat down beside each other, and I headed over to the last chair. I looked at Ellen feeling really hurt for the slight. Who cared what our friends thought? They would get used to us eventually. It had to because of Ashley, I thought and I glared at her. She must have said something to Ellen. Maybe she wasn't trying to sabotage me, but she thought that she being helpful somehow. I sighed sadly.

Ben's parents joined us shortly with some food. I kept quiet as I ate, but I listened as Mr. and Mrs. Hoofer asked Ellen questions about the divorce. She didn't seem too upset to talk about it. She answered their questions without hesitation, and she even looked happier than what she had sounded in her letters. I looked over at Ben and Ashley who were talking about homework of all things. How could they be discussion homework? I wondered. Even though Ashley wasn't smart, I thought part of her was more like Ben than I'd realized before. I sighed again feeling left out as usual. Everyone was talking to each other, but no one was talking to me. Had Ben only invited me because he felt obligated to?

It was hard getting Ellen's attention and I was starting to wonder if Jared was wrong. I had my doubts that she liked me back. She didn't say anything directly, but through her body language I thought she was pushing me away. I also thought that some of her comments had more meaning to them than she was letting on. There were quite a few times when she mentioned hanging out with cute boys. On our first day there, she had mentioned that perhaps some cute boys from the other schools would arrive, but I'd decided not to take it seriously. They would all be seventeen, and she was twelve. I thought Brianne and Brenda were hot, but that didn't mean I wanted them. They were too old, so I'd taken Ellen's comment as an observation.

"We should have a two man poker game while the girls are doing their makeovers," Ben said to me. "I don't think Barry is interested in playing, but we can have some fun."

"Sure," I said with a small shrug. I wanted to add that Ashley could have all the makeovers she wanted, but she would still be ugly. I knew that Ben would get angry though.

So we set up a game. We didn't say much at first except to talk about how our summers went. I felt some resentment for Ben as he described his lazy summer. He'd basically swam, did homework and was pampered. If his parents had treated him the way they were treating us now, he had a very relaxing vacation. Meanwhile, I'd worked hard to make money and I'd been mistreated by my parents. Out of the four of us, Ben had such an easy life. Ashley and I had to work, and Ellen was going through a divorce.

"What do you think the girls are doing in there?" I asked as I tried to put my mind on something else other than my spoiled friend. Ashley was surely trying to get tips to look good for Denver. So Ellen was probably doing the same for a different guy, and I hoped I was that guy.

"Painting their nails and doing their makeup," Ben answered. "Believe me; we don't want to be part of that. Brianne does this with her friends all the time."

"Girls gossip as well though," I said. "They could be talking about anything. Don't they usually talk about guys? I know Ellen and Ashley do."

"Probably are," he said.

Ben gave another shrug. He didn't care at all about what they were talking about, but of course he didn't have feelings for the girls. He didn't have to worry about whether or not Ashley was discussing Denver, or if Ellen was discussing me. If he was interested in either one of them, he didn't realize it yet. He was still sure that it was Melanie he wanted. I knew that if she was with the girls he would want to know.

"Do you think they are talking about me?" I asked him. I knew that everyone was talking about me behind my back. What if Ellen had said something to Ben? The two of them were still cool around each other, but they were trying to be friendly. Ellen had told me that she just wanted our two weeks together to be fun.

"Might be," Ben said. "I'm telling you right now to back off from Ellen. You're making things awkward."

Instantly I wondered if that meant that he did want Ellen after all. He was angry with her, but that didn't mean that he couldn't like her. In fact, they did have a lot of tension. I glared at him.

"I thought you said you weren't interested in her," I said suspiciously.

Ben smiled at me over his cards, and I felt even more annoyed with him. Again I wanted to hit him. He'd better not go for her.

"I'm not at all mate, but can't you see you're making her uncomfortable?" Ben asked. "When she first came, you couldn't take your eyes off of her. I'm just saying to step back a bit. Stop staring at her and touching her. You're going about it the wrong way. You're going to push her away."

Part of what Ben said I thought could be true. Ellen had after all started wearing one pieces. She was acting strange around me, but what about what Jared had said?

"I thought if you wanted a girl you had to be aggressive about it. That's what Jared told me," I replied no longer feeling upset with him. "You know he is lucky with the girls. He hasn't had much problems with snogging them."

"I think you should just talk to her," he said which surprised me. Last term he'd told me not to say anything. "Back off a bit and talk to her. Obviously you're not going to get over her, and I think it's a bad idea to be interested in one of our friends. So I think you're just going to have to talk to her about it. Just stop making her feel awkward and uncomfortable. You're putting Ashley and me in an uncomfortable position."

I was angry with again however at his last words. It didn't surprise me to know that they were talking behind my back. They always did after all, and it was likely Ashley who was bringing me up. I hadn't kept my promise to Ben to be nice to her after all. I was sure she was bitching and complaining about me like she did her sister.

"Are you two talking about me behind my back?" I demanded. "I bet she started it too, didn't she?"

"No we haven't talked about it, but it makes me uncomfortable. My sisters and Barry can tell how you feel, and they've brought it up. I imagine Ashley has noticed as well. We're your friends, and if you two fight, you're putting us in an awkward position. So I'm just saying to back it off a bit. This is supposed to be a relaxing vacation. Can't you just hold back until we're back at school at least?"

I was sure Ben was lying because I had seen the two of them whispering about me, but I didn't push it. Instead I thought about his question.

"Why when we're back at school?" I asked. "Jared said I should do it during our vacation."

Ben stared at me as if the answer was obvious. He rolled his eyes. I hated it when he did that. Ashley was starting to copy him with that. She always said it was annoying when he did it, but she'd started the habit as well. She was easily impressionable and I doubted she even knew that she did it.

"Because if she says no; then it's going to be awkward for all of us. You're visiting my place this week, and Ashley's next. Think about it, all four of us are going to be around each other constantly. At school at least we can get some space," he answered. "And if she does reject you then you can at least try and meet another girl. There is always Sarah or one of the Andrew twins, or anyone else. At Hogwarts you can find a distraction, here you can't."

I stared down at my cards. I didn't have a very good hand but Ben wasn't a good poker player. I could always stay in with a bad hand. I contemplated what he said, and it actually did make a lot of sense. I didn't admit it, but things did feel tense between all of us. Ashley was such a pushover and I didn't think she wanted us to fight, so she didn't say a word about how rude I being. However, I felt that things were ready to blow up between us. Things were very tense between Ellen and Ben as well. If Ben was right, then if I was actually upsetting Ellen, things would be tense between us too. I did notice that she was uncomfortable after all. Nothing good come from it, and we were stuck with each other for the next two weeks.

"You do have a point there," I finally admitted. "I'm not blind. I have noticed that Ellen is kind of pulling away. I'll try to lay low a bit for now, but I am going to say something to her. There are other cute girls, but right now it's Ellen that I want."

"Good," Ben said. "So let's just play some cards."

"Has Ellen said anything to you? I know you're mad at each other, but you two have been talking," I said.

"I'm not as mad at her as I was," he said. "The letter did upset me, but it is true that people say or do things in anger. Things are tense between us, but she has been rather polite. All I want is an apology. She hasn't said anything to me though. The girls might have talked about it, but no one has said anything to me."

"But Ashley probably has said something about me," I pressed.

"No she hasn't," he said. "Look, the only thing she's talked about with me is how worried she is about Ellen. She's also talked to me about her summer, and what went on with Jaime. She has not said a word about you at all. You know that she'll just take it when people are rude to her. Speaking of which, I thought you said you'd be nice to her. We're going to her house next week, and you won't be able to get away with being rude to her in her house… which you shouldn't do anyway."

"I'll try," I said but I didn't say anything else. I did not believe him at all when he said that they hadn't been talking behind my back. I did know Ashley well enough, and when something bothered her, she didn't tell the person directly. She complained behind their back. When did she ever say anything to Jaime? When had she ever said anything to any of the people who bullied her? I knew she was complaining about me, and from Ben's reactions to my rudeness I was sure he was joining in.

We didn't say much else. We just continued our card game each of us deep in our thoughts. When would I stop feeling like such an outsider? Was it normal for someone to feel so left out? The Andrews twins had told me last year that chances are the others felt that way, but I didn't think so. Ellen and Ashley would always have each other. Ashley and Ben were closer than ever. Ben and Ellen had been friends first, and they had their love for Quidditch. What did I have in common with them really? I was only in the group because Ashley had pitied me.

The girls entered the room shortly after our conversation. They were both done up nicely. Once again despite myself, I couldn't help but admit that Ashley didn't look too bad. I thought she had moved up to at least average looking. Her looks had improved since the beginning of first year. She would never ever be a beauty, but she could improve her looks if she wanted. Ellen on the other hand was just plain beautiful. She was beautiful with or without makeup. At the moment she looked older and stunning. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her, but I couldn't.

"You two look ready for a night out," Ben said.

He had been staring at them with shock as well, but he recovered before I did. I was still lost for words, because they both did look different. I couldn't even feel the usual annoyance I had for Ashley at that moment. It was amazing how much makeup could change a person's looks. What happened next shocked but intrigued me even more.

Ashley walked over to Ben and sat on his lap. The girls had never really been affectionate with us. They had hugged us of course, but there was something intimate about Ben and Ashley. Ben looked at her with shock as well. If it had been me, I'd probably be annoyed if Ashley did it to me. However, Ben's expression went from shock to something else. I thought it was almost as if he was happy that she was sitting on him. I thought he looked ready to kiss her or something. The two were bantering with each other about it.

I glanced over at Ellen wishing that she would come sit on me. She looked upset however. Her face was red as she stared over at Ashley and Ben. I wondered if she was seeing what I was seeing, and I was a little worried by how she looked at Ben. Did she actually have feelings for him? From the look on her face, I thought that there was a good chance that she did. Ben and Ashley looked as if they could be a couple, and I thought back to what a lot of people said about them. They were all so sure that someday that Ben and Ashley would date.

"Can't you two get a room?" Ellen snapped at them which caused them to look at her in shock.

"We're just playing around," Ben said with a grin. "You look good as well."

Good as well? I thought. She looked so damn gorgeous. How could Ben said good as well? It was as if he had given her a last minute compliment. She should be showered in compliments. It should be Ashley who was given the last thought, not Ellen!

"Yeah we're just kidding around," Ashley said and she got up.

Ben looked at her disappointed. Ellen's face changed from anger to hurt as she stared at Ben. No way could she want him I thought. My stomach hurt and I sighed as I clenched my fists. I wanted to hit something, or kick someone. I wanted to run until it hurt. Was this how heartbreak felt? Maybe I was just mistaking Ellen's reaction. She couldn't want Ben. It was me she wanted, and she was upset because she wanted to sit on me. I told myself. She couldn't because she didn't want to copy Ashley.

"Your sisters said we should all go hang out on the patio," Ellen finally said still looking annoyed. "I think Barry is outside. They have some butterbeer."

"Let's go then," I agreed wanting to get out of there.

I wanted something stronger than butterbeer however. Was this why my parents drank? Was it because it made them feel better? I remembered the nice buzzed or even drunk feeling I'd felt when I had drank with the guys over the summer. I wanted to feel that way again.

Ellen and I led the way out of the room. I glanced at Ellen out of the corner of my eye, and I thought she looked as sad as I felt. We hurried down the steps and through the house and out to the patio. Barry, Brenda and Brianne were already outside and having a good time. Barry and Brianne were drinking something red while Brenda just drank pumpkin juice. I wanted what Barry and Brianne had.

"Want some Sherry?" Barry asked us.

"No," Brenda said automatically. "They're twelve Barry."

"Ben is going to be thirteen soon," Barry said.

"You think that makes it better?" Brenda asked.

"One glass isn't going to hurt them," Brianne said. "You were drinking wine at their age. It's up to them."

"I'll have a glass," Ben said which surprised me. I remembered a while ago that he had told me that was he curious about drinking, but I didn't think he would actually take any.

"I'll just take a butterbeer," Ashley said which didn't surprise me. She would never drink. She was a goody two shoes. I was sure she was the type who would wait until she was older to drink.

"I'll have a glass," Ellen and me said at the same time.

I couldn't help but smile at that.

"You don't want to try Sherry?" Ben asked Ashley as she sat down at the patio. "It could be really good."

"I don't want to get hungover or sick," she answered as she took the butterbeer from the cooler that Barry had outside.

"You won't get sick from one glass," Barry told her.

She was definitely going to be one of those killjoy types. Maybe I would get lucky and Ben and Ellen would realize that as well. Perhaps they would stop being friends with her, and the three of us would be close. Ellen and I would date, and Ben and Melanie would date. Ashley would go back to being the loner she used to be. I smiled at that thought.

He pointed his wand at the open patio door and said:

"Accio four glasses."

Ben took a seat beside Ashley and grinned at her. Of course my fantasy wouldn't happen right away, but eventually they would have to get sick of her.

When the glasses landed in front of Barry, he poured sherry in three of the four glasses for us. He looked over at Ashley.

"I'll keep this one out in case you change your mind," he told her.

"I'm fine, really," Ashley insisted. "I'll just drink some butterbeer."

"Prude," I muttered as I sat down beside Ben. I hoped she heard me. I was sure the others did and I was hoping they would laugh, but no one did. In fact, all three of Ben's siblings glared at me.

I waited for Ellen to take the seat beside me, but she made her way around the table and sat down in the empty seat beside Brenda instead. I couldn't believe she would rather sit beside Brenda instead of me. I sighed a little louder than I meant to and I glared at the table trying to push away my hurt. I took a huge sip of the sherry Barry had handed me. I wanted to just drink myself into a stupor, and again part of me understood why my parents did it.

"This isn't bad," Ellen said as she took a sip. "It's actually really good. What is it?"

"It's a kind of wine," Brianne said. "Mum has always let us drink some of it because it isn't too strong. If you drink too much of it of course you'll get drunk, but a glass or two is fine."

"I'm surprised you're not drinking something harder," Michael said. "You're eighteen."

I was hoping that perhaps he would get something stronger. Sherry didn't seem enough for me at the moment. I was hoping maybe he had some firewhiskey. We could all do shots of it the way the older kids did in the common room. They would all realize what a bore Ashley was. Maybe she would be the one feeling left out instead of me. I smiled over at Barry expectantly. Maybe he would summon a bottle of it.

Barry shrugged. "I only drink that stuff if I am partying. Besides, all we had was Sherry and I didn't feel like going out to get anything else."

I felt disappointed, but I figured if I drank enough of the sherry it would have a nice effect. Sooner or later my friends would realize what a bore Ashley was. This wasn't the moment. I was surprised when Ben switched to butterbeer afterwards. Everyone started talking about the Tri-Wizard Tournament again, and I joined in happily. I wanted to know as much I could about it so I could join. That would impress Ellen and the rest of the second years would be so impressed. When I was a champion I would get the girl, and I would be popular. Once I was popular, I could push Ashley away and everyone would be happy about it. I glanced over at Ashley, and felt bad. Perhaps I wouldn't try to push her away. I hated the mixed emotions I felt when it came to her.

After a while, Barry went inside and I eagerly followed him. I wanted to get as much information from him as possible. I would do anything to impress Ellen. I pushed away the thoughts of taking Ashley's friends away. If I wanted Ellen to be my girlfriend, I couldn't hurt her friend. She would always remain loyal to Ashley no matter what. I couldn't do it anyway. It was easy to think the thoughts, but I didn't think I could actually sabotage her relationships.

The week at Ashley's went smoother than at Ben's. I took his advice and kept my distance from Ellen. The week at his place she had given me many glares, and she'd seemed uncomfortable. So I was going to do what he said, and talk to her at Hogwarts. I wasn't giving up on her quite yet, but I hated feeling the way I had at Ben's. I hated feeling left out. I even hated the resentment I had for Ashley. Somehow once I was at her house, I couldn't do it anyway. I felt horrible, especially when her mother and sister were nothing but very nice to me. Would I ever see them again after this?

Ashley took us all everywhere around her town every day. I think she sensed the tension between all of us. At Ben's all we did was swim or lounge around all day. The only time we went anywhere was to Diagon Alley to get our school supplies. There had been many tense moments that day, especially between Ben and Ellen. As nice as it usually was to laze around, it wasn't a good idea at the moment. I think Ashley knew that. So every day she had something new for us to do, and in the evenings we'd relax in her kiddie pool.

Every morning I would wake up before the others and sit outside. Sometimes her mother would join me. I had a feeling she knew that things weren't going well between me and her daughter. She was never rude to me, but she often gave me annoyed looks. Jared wrote to me once while I was there to ask how things were going with Ellen. I wrote back that I would explain once we got back to school. The last thing I needed was for someone to see what I wrote.

One thing I had to say about Ashley was that she could be very childlike. She was older than all of us, but she had a younger mind, and at times I did appreciate it. During the week at her house it felt good to act like a child again. I could tell that even Ben and Ellen enjoyed it as well, and although Ben insisted he liked Melanie, I thought he actually liked Ashley. When she suggested we do something that seemed younger than our age, he looked at her with adoration. There was no way I could ever end their friendship, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to anymore anyway.

"Ashley is such a child," I said to Ben and Ellen once afternoon when she had gone in to get us drinks, but I said it in a way that they knew I wasn't insulting her. I said it in appreciative way. We were sitting on their small back porch.

"She is," Ellen agreed. "But I love it. One moment she can seem like our age, and the next moment it's like I'm with Timmy. It's almost a stress reliever. This is the most relaxed I've felt since I found out about the divorce."

"It's my favourite thing about her," Ben said. "Most people lose that quality, but I don't think she ever will."

I nodded in agreement. I didn't think she ever would either. When she returned with our drinks I smiled at her, and she smiled back but she looked surprised. I couldn't blame her, I did my best to be nice to her like Ben asked, especially at her house but there were moments when I definitely hadn't been the nicest. I hoped she would never find out my fantasies.

On the first day of school I woke up really early. I couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts. I wasn't planning on returning home again until next June. That was a long way to go. There was no way I was going to return to the house in December when it was freezing, or the mess that was sure to accumulate while I was gone. I knew it was going to be worse when no one cleaned for almost a year, but I decided I would worry about that when I had to.

I planned to wait for the Hoofers outside, even if I had to wait hours. I still had one more essay to finish and it was nice enough outside for me to do it there. However, the moment I left my room my parents had nothing but complaints for me. I didn't even make it to the front door.

"You're just going to go off without saying anything?" Mum asked. "You've barely acknowledged us all summer. At the very least you could spend some time with us before you go. You just got home and you're leaving again."

"We didn't raise you to be so disrespectful," dad added to me angrily. "Stop acting ashamed of us."

"You didn't raise me at all," I snapped back. "And how can I not be ashamed? I was gone two weeks and the house was a mess. I'm not coming home for Easter or Christmas if you keep this up. If you want to talk about 'raising' me," and I used finger quotes when I said the word 'raising,' "then maybe the two of you should get jobs. If you want me to come home for the holidays and show you respect then act like my parents!"

Dad glared at me and then slapped me hard across the face. He didn't stop at one slap either, he grabbed me by the arm and bent me forward. I was shocked as he pulled my pants down. I had never been spanked in my life. My mother hated violence, but she seemed to have forgotten that as dad did just that. At my age I was too old for that kind of punishment, but he seemed to forget that as he smack me hard on my bare rear end extremely hard and many times. Once he was done, he shoved me away.

"Keep taking that tone with us and that's where it will get you!" Dad shouted as I stared up at him with shock. "I always told your mother that we should spank you more, but she doesn't believe in it," and then he turned on her. "You see where that has gotten us? You see how much he disrespects us?"

Mum didn't say anything, she stared at dad and then looked at me.

"I'm sorry Michael, but you deserved that spanking," she finally said. "If you're going to act up like this when you're at home then maybe that's what you're going to get."

Dad nodded and pointed a finger at me. "Stay at Hogwarts if you can, but if you ever back talk us again, just remember what happened here. You should be feeling that for at least a week at any rate."

I looked away and pulled my pants up. I blinked back the tears. I would not give my father the satisfaction. I would show that I didn't care but inside I was screaming. My parents had done a lot of things in the past, but this was unforgivable. I saw nothing wrong with corporal punishment if a kid deserved it, but I had not deserved what my father had just done to me. I was embarrassed and angry. I would never ever forgive him or even my mother for not stepping in. I stared dad right in the eye.

"Don't worry, I will never forget what you just did to me," I said to him.

"Good," dad stated. "I'd like to see some of the money you earned this summer. I know you have a lot more than you let on. If you can't accept that this is the way of life, then find out if you can stay at your school for the summer as well. I never want you to talk to me that way again. I'll give you much worse than what I just did."

I reached into my pocket and thrust a couple bills at my mother. Without saying another word, I grabbed the handle of my trunk and went outside. I couldn't hold back the tears once I was outside, but it wasn't from the pain. I could handle physical pain just fine. It was the embarrassment and the frustration of what had just happened.

I was still in a bad mood when the Hoofers arrived to pick me up. They all tried talking to me on the way there, but I was short with all of them. Later I would feel horrible for it. I knew there was absoloutely no excuse for the way I talked to Mr. Hoofer. He had welcomed me into his home and he was taking me to school. He looked at me in the rear view mirror like he had a couple of weeks ago. He didn't look angry however. I could see pity in his eyes, and I knew he knew I was acting out because of my parents. Ben elbowed me a few times, but I just glared at him and looked out the window. I was willing to bet he had never been hit in his life.

When we arrived at the station, he let the others go ahead once we went through platform nine and three quarters and he put a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened to your cheek?" He demanded. "You're all red. Did one of your parents hit you?"

I shook my head and looked away. Mr. Hoofer however grabbed my chin and turned my face gently to look at me.

"Michael, I want to know if someone hurt you. I already know that your home life isn't ideal. If they abuse you-"

"They don't," I said as tears formed in my eyes. "At least not always."

"Please tell me what you mean by that," Mr. Hoofer said.

"This summer was the first time," I confessed. "Mum hit me when I came home, but I didn't get hit again until today. Dad slapped me because I mouthed off and then he-" but I couldn't tell him that I had been spanked.

"And then he what Michael?" Mr. Hoofer asked. "I want to know what he did."

"He spanked me," I muttered in a low voice. "But I deserved it."

Mr. Hoofer took out his wand and pointed it at my cheek. Instantly I felt relief, and then I felt the pain disappear from my rear end as well. He let go of my face and I looked away in embarrassment. I couldn't believe I had just told my friends father what had just happened.

"You didn't deserve it," he told me. "I want you to tell me if they ever hit you again. I am not one to look down on parents who feel the need to sometimes give their child a small spanking if they deserve it. My children got it if they misbehaved, but I fully believe that you did not deserve what they did to you. You are also a young man now. I knew something was wrong today because you're normally not so disrespectful. Michael, please promise you'll tell me if it happens again."

I sighed and nodded. "Just don't tell Ben please," I said. "Thank you and I'm sorry for being rude to you."

"We'd better get going," Mr. Hoofer said as he nodded over to his family. "I understand. I've known you long enough to know that you're not a disrespectful young man."

He put a hand on my shoulder and led me over to where Ben was waiting with his mother. Ben looked confused but also annoyed with me.

"What were you doing?" Mrs. Hoofer asked as we joined them.

"He just had a few man questions to ask," Mr. Hoofer told her but I thought I heard him tell her that he'd explain later. Somehow I didn't mind that Mrs. Hoofer would find out. I just didn't want Ben or my other friends to know what had happened.

"Well, we'll see you two at Christmas," Mrs. Hoofer said as she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Have a good term boys," Mr. Hoofer added and he put another hand on my shoulder.

As soon as we boarded the train, Ben looked at me angrily.

"You know, there was no need to get all snippy with my father," he told me angrily. "My parents have done so much for you."

I ignored him and pushed my way through the crowd. His father understood, so I wasn't going to apologize for it. No one could ever possibly understand what I had gone through that summer. Mr. Hoofer had said that he had spanked his kids if they deserved, but I was sure that Ben had never been hit the way I had been. He'd also deserved it whereas I hadn't. I just peered into each compartment hoping to find either Ellen or Jared or both. I saw some of the second years, but no one I wanted to sit with.

"He's cute. I don't mind him hanging around us," I heard Ashley saying from one of the compartments. I knew for sure that Ellen would be with her. I couldn't help but wonder who was cute. Had the girls met some guy? Was it some guy that Ellen had met? I was sure it had to be a guy Ellen had met. Why else would Ashley say she didn't mind if he hung out with us? It angered me not only because Ellen had met a guy, but because Ashley hated when people judged her for her looks. There she was wanting to hang out with a guy just because he was cute. What a shallow hypocrite.

"Who?" I demanded as Ben and I entered the compartment where Ashley and Ellen were sitting across from each other. It had to be a Hogwarts student. What if it was a Hufflepuff? What if it was Hank? I'd heard Ashley and Ellen mention that he was good-looking before.

Ben and I put our trunks up in the luggage rack and then I took a seat close to Ellen, while Ben sat beside Ashley. I stared at Ellen who looked instantly annoyed with me.

"Timmy, he's such a sweet little kid," Ashley told me.

Instantly I felt relieved and I smiled with a sigh. Of course they were just talking about Timmy. I was being overly paranoid. I knew I had to watch myself so I wouldn't drive Ellen away.

"Speaking of kids, we're only a year older but some of the first years look so small," I said to push away the tension. "We were just there last year, but some are runts."

Ashley smiled at me. "Probably to you you're so tall."

For a second I thought she was making fun of me and I snapped back at her. She looked at me hurt and as usual Ben told me off. I knew this time I deserved it, but none of them understood how I was feeling at the moment. I was still feeling angry about what had happened that morning, and I knew that was likely the reason I had gotten so paranoid with Ellen as well. None of them would be joking around if they had been beaten for no reason. They would be just as moody as well. I clenched my fists as Ben told Ashley and Ellen how I'd behaved in the car that moment. If only you knew! I thought furiously as I looked at Ben and Ashley.

"My parents were being ridiculous today," I explained. "They complained that they barely saw me all summer. I told them I wasn't coming home for Christmas or Easter unless they get jobs and keep the house clean. My dad basically told me if I didn't like it then I could stay at Hogwarts for the summer vacation as well. Mum got really upset. They've told me that this is life and to get used to it. And they wanted some of the money I earned doing all of those odd jobs all summer. I gave some to mum, but not him."

That was all that they needed to hear. There was no way I was going to tell them that I was spanked that day.

"Look mate, we all know it's rough for you, but that doesn't mean you should take it out on us. Ashley made a harmless comment, and you got angry. Brenda made a harmless comment, and you got angry. You also snapped at my father, who by the way gave you a ride here today. Get angry with your parents, not us," Ben said to me with anger.

I didn't say anything to him. I was to furious at all three of them to say anything. I hated the fact that Ellen was ignoring me. The least she could do was talk to me about it, but it was just Ben snapping at me. She was taking Ashley's side as usual. It seemed as if they were all sick of me at that moment. Ashley was staring out the window, but she turned to glare at me before looking back out again. That confirmed that she was still upset about my comment, and I was sure if I left they would all talk about me.

My dad beat me today. The worst that has ever happened to you is that you've been bullied. Sure you lost your dad, but you were so young when it happened. At least he likely loved you. At least your mum and sister love you. So what if you aren't pretty? It's not the worst thing that can happen. You go home to a clean and warm place. You don't have to clean up after slobs. You didn't get spanked for no reason! Ben you just have a perfect life. I don't care what you say. Your life is nothing but perfect. You have money, you have siblings who love you. You don't have to go home to parents who are drunks. Ellen your parents divorced but they still love you. You have a little brother who looks up to you. Your parents don't believe in hitting kids. I know they don't. I heard you tell Ashley once that Timmy needed a good spanking, but your parents didn't believe in that.

I spent the beginning half of the train ride wanting to tell all my friends this, but I didn't. None of them talked at first, but then they started to talk about the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I put my input in when I could. I was relieved when Hank, Stan and Jared entered the compartment until Hank sat way too close to Ellen. It bothered me even more that she looked very happy about this. Jared sat on my other side while Stan sat with Ben and Ashley. Ashley didn't turn away from the window, she was still upset. I glared over at her thinking that she needed to get over it.

"So?" Jared whispered to me.

"Nothing is working," I muttered back in a low voice. "She just seems more annoyed with me than usual. I don't want to talk about it now."

"What about your parents?" Jared asked.

I shook my head not wanting to talk about it there either.

"Let's go back to our compartment then," Jared muttered.

I nodded and we both got up quickly to leave. We went back to Jared's compartment and sat down. I shut the door behind me, but it wouldn't close all the way. I didn't think anyone would be too interested in our conversation however.

"So what exactly happened?" Jared asked. "Didn't you try any of my tips?"

I nodded. "I did my best to get her attention, believe me. She just wasn't responding to it at all. It didn't help that it seemed they were all out to get me."

"You had to have been doing something wrong," Jared told me. "If she didn't want you, she would have told you. I've seen Ellen turn down boys. She had a line up of them last year. She has no problem with breaking hearts."

"I'm her friend though," I said.

"Which is why she would be upfront about it," Jared replied. "Maybe she wouldn't be rude to you about it, but she would have to tell you something. I can't see Ellen just leading you on. Did you see the way she responded to Hank? So did she show any signs that she just wasn't interested?"

I thought back to it. I wasn't sure if there were too many signs except she had seemed uncomfortable, but it wasn't as if she ever pushed me away. Anytime I put an arm around her, or I held hands with her she let me.

"I don't know, except she just seemed kind of cold to me," I told him. "Especially at Ben's and what's more, I think Ben told Ashley. Who knows, maybe Ashley mentioned it to Ellen. Or one of them did. The two of them kept whispering together and then Ben told me to back off from Ellen."

"I don't know why you hang out with that girl," Jared said. "I've said it before but-"

I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't want to hear it. Sure she had been getting on my nerves lately, but I couldn't help but think about how she'd been like when we were at her house. She honestly didn't seem as if she were out to get me the way Jared kept saying she was in his letters. I knew he observed things I didn't, but there were times when it had just been Ashley and me and she just seemed sincere.

"I know your opinion on her. She has some good qualities. She can be annoying, and whiny, and everything but still. And speaking of which, you say you don't trust her, but maybe you should wonder about Hank as well. You know he's been telling her everything we say about her. Ben told me," I told him. "She wouldn't be disloyal on purpose, she's just really dumb. If she did or said anything, it wasn't intentional."

Of course my mistrust for Hank wasn't only from when Ben had told me last term. It was also because I knew at that very moment he was going after my girl.

"Hank doesn't like when anyone insults a girl. Women are his weakness. And how do you know she isn't turning Ellen against you then? You said she knows everything you've said about her. It could very well be because of her that Ellen wants nothing to do with you. No one can be as nice as her. She's a fake, and soon you'll find out just how much of a fake she is," Jared said to me.

What Jared said was true enough. I felt mixed emotions when it came to her. She had been nice to me at her house, but he was right that she knew everything I'd said about her. I knew that she and Ben had talked about me behind my back. Ben insisted that she hadn't said a word, but he was so loyal to her. Things between us hadn't been good between us for so long.

"Do you really think it's her?" I asked. "She did help me become friends with Ben and Ellen when I teased her. Not only that but she has helped me with other things. She invites me over to her place. We've had our good moments as well as the bad ones."

"But she's also closer to Ellen," Jared reminded me. "If she knows how you feel about Ellen then that could be her way of getting back at you. I just see Ashley as the passive aggressive type. She won't talk to you directly, but she'll go behind your back to get back at you. I've heard the way she complains about her sister. When has she ever stood up for herself? Even now Ben and Ellen stand up for her when it comes to you. Look, I just notice these things. I've never liked her, but I wouldn't just make things up like this. Maybe I am very wrong Michael, but all I can say is to watch it around her."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said. "I honestly don't mind too much if I lose her friendship, but I will care if I lose Ellen and Ben."

But I wondered how true that was. Somehow despite my fantasies of her being a loner again, I couldn't imagine actually kicking her out of my life. I still imagined myself going to her house years from now. So for the moment even though I was annoyed with her, I would just take it day by day.

"So what else is bothering you?" Jared asked me. "You seem really down mate."

I shook my head not knowing if I could tell Jared or not.

"Is it your parents?" He pressed.

I didn't answer him. Could I tell Jared what had happened that morning? If I couldn't talk to Ben, Ellen or Ashley, could I tell Jared who I wasn't as close to?

"You know you can talk to me," Jared said. "I'm not going to tell anyone else. I just think something happened. You told me a lot this summer, but there is something you're holding back."

I looked out the window and then told Jared everything that had happened that morning. I couldn't look at my friend. Would he find it funny that I had been spanked?

"That sick son of a… Mike, you can't keep going home to that," Jared told me.

"I'm planning to stay for the Christmas and Easter holidays," I informed him. "It's just the summers I have to go home. Unless maybe I can talk to Professor Sprout about staying. Ben's parents have already told me I can stay there. Ashley's mother even though I'm sure she knows what we aren't getting along has also offered me the spare room."

"Well you can stay at my place as well," Jared told me. "I can't believe he hit you like that. I already told you that you can stay if you need to. My parents won't mind at all."

"I know, just as I told Ashley's mother, I don't want to burden anyone," I told him.

"It won't be a burden," Jared said. "And if that girl is a true friend, she won't feel that way either."

I couldn't help defend Ashley that time. "If she knew I got hit I think she'd let me stay," I told him. "Even if you are right about her turning Ellen against me, she wouldn't want me to get beaten."

"Fair enough," Jared said. "Look, all I am saying is if it happens again, I want you to tell me. You can stay with me. I don't even think you should go back there. You have people offering you their home, so you should take them up on it."

I couldn't do that however though. As awful as it was to return to that mess and their lifestyle, I couldn't impose on my friends. Ashley's mother was a single mother, the Hoofers even though they had money still had three kids at home, Ellen's parents had just divorced and Jared's parents had an unfriendly look to them. I couldn't see them wanting to take in another child, especially a muggleborn. They didn't have any problems with muggleborns, however it was different when you raised one. The Hoofers were different.

"I'll let you know," I finally answered.

"Somehow I doubt that," Jared said, "but I'll be watching out for you. Anyway lets not talk about that anymore. Tell me more about those muggle boys you hung out with."

When I left the compartment a little while later, Tara confronted m, she had a huge smirk on her face.

"Have a cozy little chat with Jared?" She asked me.

I eyed her suspiciously. Had she listened in on our conversation? I hadn't been able to close the door all the way. Did she know how I felt about Ellen? Did she hear what my parents did to me? She had to have otherwise why else would she look so happy?

"Were you listening in on us?" I demanded.

"Nope. Your so called friend Ashley was though," Tara told me. "She tried listening in on you out here, but Denver told her it was better if they did it in his compartment."

"You're lying," I said but something in her eyes told me that she wasn't.

"Believe what you want, but I don't see the point in lying about things like that. They're all in that compartment over there," and she nodded to a compartment not too far from where we stood.

I glanced over at it. I couldn't help myself as I moved forward to look. They didn't see me, but I could see Ashley, Denver, Morgan and Claire in deep conversation.

"She followed behind you a few moments after you and Jared left," Tara told me.

I shook my head and pushed my way past Tara. How much had they heard? I honestly didn't mind that Ashley had followed to listen. It was something I would expect her to do. She knew that more than likely Jared and I had gone off to talk about her. If I had been in her shoes, I would have done the same. If she knew that I had been spanked that day, I could get over it. I could get over that she had heard me talk about Ellen and her. What bothered me was that the Slytherin's had heard as well. She'd allowed Denver to hear very personal things about me. More than likely they had all used extendible ears to listen to us. If she was a true friend, she would not have let the Slytherin's hear all of that.

Angrily I made my way back to our compartment. As I was about to enter, I heard Ben saying:

"This has to stop, and it needs to stop now."

I knew automatically that he was talking about me. This made me even more angry but I pushed the anger away. Of course they were talking about me too. I entered the compartment to see that Stan and Hank were still there, but it wasn't that much of a surprise. Of course they would be since they hadn't returned to their own compartment. I forced myself to smile as I entered. I didn't want them to know anything was off yet.

"What has to stop?" I asked trying to sound happy.

"Ellen is complaining about her homework again," Ben answered me.

I nodded believing him. I was being paranoid once again about them. I had to stop thinking that way. Instead I looked over at Ben and told him to mind his own business. Ellen was never going to take her homework seriously, and he was going to have to accept that. As I sat down, I couldn't help but glare at Hank was sitting too close to Ellen for my liking.

"It's just the usual banter, isn't it Ellen?" Ben said but his face went red as he said this.

"It wouldn't be the same without it," Ellen replied quickly.

Instantly I knew they were lying and my suspicions from before were likely right. They had all been talking about me. I knew Ellen hated it when Ben brought up her homework. Given the tone of his voice when I was just entering the compartment, he sounded angry. They were not joking around, and if they were fighting about her homework, she would not let it slide. They were lying to me. I knew them way too well.

"Right," I said. "So what were you really talking about? What's the big secret here?"

"Is Jared back in our compartment?" Hank asked me quickly. I knew he and Stan wanted to get out of there. They sensed that there was going to be an argument.

They left when I told them that he was.

"So what's the big secret? Why are you two lying about what you're really talking about? We're you talking about me? It's not nice to talk about your friends behind their backs," I said as soon as they were gone.

"Because you never do that to Ashley?" Ellen asked. "You weren't just off with Jared talking about her?"

"No I wasn't. I have better things to do than to talk about that bitch," I snapped at her.

"Hey!" Ben shouted.

He jumped out of his seat and pointed his wand at me. I widened my eyes in surprise. I'd never thought that he or any of them for that matter would point their wand at me. If only he knew that she had been spying on me with the Slytherin's. He'd be upset too if she had done that to him. I could excuse her listening to me, but never with Denver. That was unforgivable, especially if they had heard what had happened to me that day.

"Calm down," I told him. "You'd actually hex me over that? Look, I shouldn't have called her a bitch but I just can't stand that girl lately. I wasn't talking about her though. Jared wanted to know more about my summer. I do have other friends besides the two of you."

I knew that they didn't miss the fact that I didn't include Ashley as my friend. I couldn't at the moment when she'd let the Slytherin's listen in on my conversation. She should never have done that. Jared was right that she couldn't be trusted. I was more than willing to try and work things out with her, but not after that.

"You honestly don't see her as your friend?" Ellen asked. "She invited you to her place during the summer!"

I wanted to tell her what she had done, but what was the point? Ellen and Ben would just stick up for her either way. So why bother mentioning it to them?

"She's my friend, but lately I haven't wanted to be around her," I said to satisfy them.

"I'm sure she feels the same way about you," Ben told me which confirmed that they were talking about me.

I was tired of them talking about me and attacking me all the time. I hated being ganged up on.

"Why? Has she been complaining about me to you behind my back? If she has, you can't get angry with me for doing it to her," I told them and I looked over at Ellen who glared at me. She folded her arms with defiance.

"We're talking about you snapping at her," Ellen said slowly. "She makes one innocent comment, and you bite her head off. She's been gone ever since you left."

"She takes things too seriously," I said. "I was feeling annoyed earlier. It was nothing personal. She needs to stop being so sensitive all the time. Don't you two get sick of her whining all the time? I know you do, there is no point in denying it. If she's off all upset just because I snapped at her then she has problems."

I could see it in their eyes that they agreed with me about that. They were just as sick of whining all the time just as I was. They weren't going to admit it at that moment, but in the past they had mentioned it. They were both tired of the way she complained about the stupidest things. All of her problems could be solved, but she chose not to fix them. She could look good if she wanted to. She could do better in school if she wanted to. All she had to do was stand up to her bullies. She had more money than I did. Her life was good compared to mine.

"She probably just ran into a friend," Ellen said. "Maybe she went to the bathroom."

"Maybe," Ben said but he didn't sound convinced of this.

"She has no friends besides us," I muttered. I knew Ellen and Ben had heard me but they didn't say anything.

I thought again about telling them that she was off with her Slytherin friends, but after a moment I decided not to. They could sweat about it all they wanted. For the moment I didn't even want to be around either of them. Ellen was annoying me just as much as Ashley was. I wanted to talk to Jared again. He was the one person who was supportive of me.


End file.
